So, life can be a bit of a jokester sometimes. I am naturally a very bubbly, social, and optimistic person, but I’ve got a little secret. I suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder. I know what you may be thinkin’ but nope, I am not amazingly organized (I wish) and you won’t find a clean freak here (sorry, honey)! Instead, I often find myself struggling intrusive thoughts that send me into a vicious cycle of worry, fear, and doubt (ya know, if I leave the Christmas lights on when we’re not home the house WILL burn down). That’s a pretty lame joke, life.
After a major anxiety attack two years ago, my OCD kicked into high gear. I was constantly in my head, not really present in my day-to-day life. I was avoiding certain social situations, purchasing ridiculous things I didn’t need, and checking alllllllll the things in many failed attempts to ease my worry. I felt like a total freak and I refused to say a word about it to anyone. It wasn’t until a close friend of mine opened up about her OCD on her blog, that I was able to open up about mine. I asked her a million questions and it immediately made me feel human again. A flawed, anxious human, but a great hugger!
Starting this blog has been a huge step forward in combating the things that trigger my anxiety. It meant I’d be putting myself in the spotlight, whether it is having photos taken in public (talk about awkward) to networking with other like-minded influencers or businesses (what do I do with my hands?). I’m still learning to be comfortable in my own skin and if you’re reading this, feeling like there couldn’t be a person out there that understands you, I encourage you to speak up. Ask questions. Get the answers that you deserve. I pinky promise you’re not alone.
This is all a huge learning experience for me and I am so happy to finally share a tiny piece of my story with you. I have great days and I have some days that are the worst. On the upside, at least I know my doors are always locked, the garage door is closed, and I’m on top of it if there is any combustible gas in my home.
About the Look: Stripe Racerback Crop Top, Forever 21 /// Sorbet All Day Skirt, ModCloth /// Ready for Anything Heels, ModCloth /// Purse, Spanish Dutch Convey in St. Augustine, FL /// Heart Shaped Sunnies, Minx Boutique in Asheville, NC /// Sephora Lip Cream Stain in Forever Fuchsia
P.S. This little darling, Natalie, featured me on her blog The Moon Moth! Check her out.
Photos by my bestie, Lindsey, at Electric Lime Studios.